Sex Toys and Shame

One of the most common questions I get from men and women in my coaching sessions is about how to bring desire back to the bedroom when it has faded or how to extend the quality of sex life in a new, young relationship. It seems that we all dream about experiencing passionate desire with our loved one forever. When the intensity wanes or the newness is gone, we wish to feel that same sexual craving again.

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Infidelity and Feeling Alive, Part II

I could provide many more examples of experiences of “aliveness” after infidelity from interviewees, my own and those of other researchers or therapists, from film, literature, anecdotes and stories.  Such experiences take on added layers of meaning in a social context characterized by doubt about whether our relationships will last forever.

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Katherine Frank
Infidelity and Feeling Alive, Part I

While discussing my research on monogamy at a dinner party, I was told a story about a wealthy man whose wife had discovered his affair.  Facing a divorce settlement in the multi-millions, the man agreed to counseling.  On the first visit, the counselor questioned him in front of his wife, trying to elicit a statement of grief and regret that might save the relationship.  “Well,” the counselor asked, “was it worth it?” The man answered yes.  The marriage ended. 

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Katherine Frank
Sexuality

Understanding our own sexuality—our fantasies, desires, preferences, needs—is an essential part of creating such a life, whether alone or in a relationship.  Ideally, partners should be able to communicate with each other about their sexual fantasies and desires; however, people can face many barriers to such honesty.

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Katherine Frank
Threesomes for Couples

A threesome refers to group sex between three people of any combination of sex or gender.  All three may be single, or the situation may involve a couple inviting another man or woman into their bedroom.

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Katherine Frank
Women Taking Viagra? Addyi?

Men have clamored for Sildenafil, usually known as Viagra or Cialis, since it flooded the market in 1998. Despite professional cautions that a pill cannot provide a “quite fix” for every sexual dysfunction, upwards of 25 million prescriptions have been written for the drug. It was only a matter of time, of course, until women began knocking on laboratory doors: What about us?

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Katherine Frank
What is a “successful” marriage?

Whenever I speak about “alternative” relationships, or relationships involving some form of consensual nonmonogamy such as those of polyamorists, swingers, or in open marriages, someone in the audience inevitably asks, often with a smirk:  “But do those relationships last?” 

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Katherine Frank
New Perspectives on Polyamory

Polyamory is sometimes used as an umbrella term for consensual nonmonogamy or “open” relationships of a variety of types; other times it is more specifically defined as “the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one loving, intimate relationship at a time with the full knowledge and free consent of everyone involved.”

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Katherine Frank